Eight Steps to Survival
by am1019
Summary: Summary: Set pre and during 6.01, "Jack stays alive because he will not die for no reason." Sheer speculation on how Jack survived captivity. Mentions of torture, nothing graphic.


The 8 Steps to Survival  
Disclaimer: 24 is the property of Fox Corp.  
Rating: Gen  
Spoilers: Pre-season 6 up to 6.1

1.

Jack stays alive because he will not die for no reason. He has not spoken for eighteen months, but he has screamed. He has screamed so much that he has no voice to speak with, even if he wanted to. His captors like to make him scream. They coax scratchy wails out of him with barbed whips and drops of acid. Then they pour buckets of ice water on him and leave him on the dirty concrete floor. He goes through phases of weeping and not. As his skin dries and the blood makes him stick to the floor, he forgets what it was like to wear clothes and to own anything.

2.

Jack does not want to die, but he does not want to be tortured, either. A small part of him has not shut down. This part understands that they know he will not talk. They torture him for fun, to hear his pain. He bites his tongue until it bleeds. He stops offering his screams. Instead, he gives them his obedience. When they enter, he shifts onto his knees, though he is already on the floor, he lowers his eyes, and when they step towards them, he touches his forehead to their shoes. The first time he does this, they beat him. He does not scream. He closes his eyes against the blows and ice water. And when they return, he kneels again and does not, under any circumstance, look them in the eyes. He keeps them down to protect himself from his hatred. He must convince them, convince himself, that he has given up if he is to survive.

3.

Jack is nothing. He has always been nothing. He always will be nothing. He thinks this every morning when they bring him a bowl of water that he laps from a dish because they still will not untie his hands. He thinks it every afternoon when they jerk him to his feet and hold his dick for him so he can piss into his water dish. He thinks it every night when the lights go out and he lays awake listening to rats scuttle across the floor. And he thinks it every time he presses his head to their shoes and drops tears onto them.

4.

He is given clothes, and this frightens him more than anything in his entire year and a half of captivity. He tries to bolt, but a word from the leader brings him to his knees, even without the flurry of punishment that follows--which it does, harder than ever because he is disobeying an order, and that is worse than simply being an object for them to practice on. They force his arms into sleeves and lift his feet to make him step into pants. He hangs in their arms as they tie his drawstrings. They shoot people who wear clothes. He knows this. He also knows that he is nothing. He has always been nothing. He will always be nothing. So dying shouldn't matter. But it does.

5.

On the plane, they strap him into a seat. Looking out the window terrifies him. The world is too large after his little room. His captors take turns sitting across from him. One of them pushes his neck down so he will lean forward. He pulls Jack's shirt up and scratches down each of his scars. Jack stares at the floor and bites his lip.

6.

He is free. The handcuffs snap off him at Buchanan's orders. He does not understand. His captor is telling him to go to the Americans. This cannot be right. He hesitates. He wants to go to his knees to ask permission properly. He takes a step forward, expecting his legs to collapse to their rightful place on the ground, but they hold steady. He takes another step, watching, sure that it is a trick. He will be called back and that will be the end. But no one calls him back. He gets to Curtis. His friend. And Bill. His friend. His captors get in the jet and leave. He is free. And he is still standing.

7.

He understands dying for a reason, and not. For the good of his country is a reason he will die for. Finally, at last, he will die. There was a time, when he was younger, that he thought about teaching English. English teachers probably don't have days like he does. He could have been perfectly happy as an English teacher. Though, perhaps, not as fulfilled, not as ready to let go. He should go back and teach now because now he understands Hamlet better, far better, than he did then.

8.

They should have just shot him and been done with it. He was willing. A bullet to the head to put him out forever. He would have allowed that. But they had to torture him. Fine, he could take punishment. But then they had to say it was happening for no reason. The attacks would go on. That, he could not take. He will not die for no reason. It goes beyond conviction now. It is a fact. He has had enough of being a pawn. His turn to kill now, to be free on his own terms. He changes the chant in his brain. He is not no one. He is Jack Bauer. He wipes blood off his lips and steps over the dead man. Don't they know? The only person who keeps Jack down is Jack. And right now, this moment, Jack is back.


End file.
